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Leafhead [16 Jul 2009|03:10am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

I love the 90's

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Head over heels. [29 Sep 2008|05:52pm]
[ mood | electric ]

I'd say it was late elementary school, maybe early middle school. Larissa, Nicole and I were hanging out outside of their house in a tree. And we decided it was time to find boys. I don't know what was going on through our minds, but we devised a plan that didn't really make sense. I was to sit in the tree, and when the next guy came along, I was to fall out of said tree. I'm assuming we thought he would come to my rescue and introduce us into the world of boys.

Well, we were in our positions, waiting and talking, and a guy walked by, we argued about how old he was, and if we should wait until another person, who didn't look 20 something, walked by, but we decided to go for it. So we all waved at him, and as he waved back, I threw myself out of the tree. He looked shocked, and we all pretended to be just as shocked.

Unfortunately, my foot got caught and I  was dangling from the tree. We all laughed and stared at him, He stopped and looked at us, "Are you okay?" he asked. "I'm fine! Thanks!" I shout from down below. Then there was sort of an awkward silence, us still staring at him, and him wondering...I can't even imagine what he was thinking...but he was laughing along with us.

"Aren't you going to help her?" That's when we came to our senses, "Oh yeah!" And they helped me un-wedge my foot and I fell head first into the dirt. Then I stood up and we all smiled and waved as he walked away and told us to have a good day and to be careful.

I'd still like to know what was going on through our minds...

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Where it began, mostly. [28 Sep 2008|10:57pm]
[ mood | happy ]

When I was growing up, I would always go to my great grandmother's house, and she'd watch me. I called her Mim, and we would go on walks around downtown Nashua, along the tracks, back when there were tracks, and through the trails. We would go through the dump and I'd find exciting treasures and take them home, like small toys, or maybe spoons. I would always wonder why there were so many spoons, but after health class and learning about drugs, I remembered the spoons and thought, wow, a large part of my childhood has probably been influenced by drug-users. Well, I would go there and we would spend the day together.

In third grade, after the first few snowfalls, a family moved into the house accross the street after the nice lesbian couple moved out. I saw them around, and they had two daughters, I wanted to talk to them, but I was a shy kid, so I never did anything about it, but one day, my mom looked at me as we were driving up the street. She saw that I was looking at them, and said, "Go talk to them." I told her I didn't want to, she, of course, being my mother, forced me to. I walked over slowly. Larissa was standing there, just as shy as I was, and Nicole, her younger sister, hid behind her and peeked over her shoulder. We made our introductions and agreed to go sledding. Since they're older brother, Marky, stole theirs, we just used the two I had in my Mim's shed.

We were all huddled and talking, getting to know eachother, and Nicole spit on the ground. We all looked down at the yellow, spitty blob in between us all, and I asked, "Does she always pee out of her mouth?" (I was a weird kid. I still am.) And we all laughed, and I think that's when we all decided that our relationship was going to bloom into something wonderful.

Most of my childhood memories involve Larissa, Nicole, Mark, and Mr. and Mrs. R. (their parents) so I decided this should be the first story. This is where most of my stories actually begin, other than the random baby stories my grandmother told me about. I think it's suiting.

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Blurb. [28 Sep 2008|01:09am]
[ mood | awake ]

I'm having trouble sleeping, so I'm going through Myspace pages of people I haven't seen or talked to in a long time. You know, the people that you sort of just forget about until they post a bulletin or something. That's when I scroll through, and look at their life, and think about how they used to be, and what they've become, and wonder about all the things that changed and haven't.

Some people, you look at, and you just know they're going down the wrong road, you can tell they're a train wreck waiting to happen. And it's as if you come to terms with it, so when you see them, and they've turned their life around completely, you feel proud, it really gives you hope. But more times than not, you see them, and they're in the same exact place you left them at with almost no change at all.

That's what makes me sad. I try and think about how they feel, are they happy with what they have? Are they still really the same person I stopped hanging out with for a reason? Are they changing into a good person now, and the transition isn't complete yet? Could I have helped them better themselves if I'd only tried?

I'm not saying that I'm a really good person, who has the right to judge people, and choose to let them sink or swim. But this is just how I feel about some people.

There are also the people you look at and see them going somewhere in life, so when they do, it's not as impressive as if they'd made a poor impression, you still feel happy for them, but it's not the same kind of pride you'd feel if you didn't already know they were going to succeed. But when they shatter your expectations, it's almost like the world lost someone good. Like life is a baseball team, a really good player got traded with a really bad one.

Conclusion - I feel good when a success stays a success, but not as good as I do when a failure becomes a success.

I feel bad when a failure stays a failure, but not as bad as I do when a success becomes a failure.

Remember, every decision you make and every person you associate yourself with effects you and molds you into the person you are and the person you're becoming.

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